Your pace or mine?
This ad is a great example of letting ‘clever writing’ overshadow the selling points.
Let’s start with the key focus, the question ‘Your pace or mine?’ Yes, very good, Scott; I see what you did there. Most people will associate it with the cliché phrase used when two people meet in a bar, fancy each other, and don’t feel ready to end the night at closing time. But what does it mean here? Who’s asking the question? What do you want me to do? (Take the shoe home, I guess.) This pun might work if it was a product endorsed by a sports star, but here it feels shoehorned (totally intentional) and confusing.
The ad would arguably be more effective if you got rid of the punning question and threw the spotlight on the ‘Lighter/Faster/More Efficient’. Those are the three things sportspeople look for in shoes, and they’re excellent benefits, so why not just let them do their job and grab the attention?
On to the caption at the bottom. Words like ‘utilise’ make me grind my teeth – just say ‘use’. This caption is jargon-filled bizspeak and doesn’t match with the informal tone of the rest of the ad. It would be easy to make it more benefit-led: try ‘Feel your stride stabilise and your running style become faster and more efficient. It’s all thanks to our unique rocker shape.’